go of your need to be superior. True nobility isn't about
being better than someone else. It's about being better than
you used to be."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer
is supposed to be fun!"
Seek Joy, Not Approval
We learn to seek approval
at a very early age. Even if we are not told so as children, we believe
that our parents will love us more if we do this or that -- we
observed their pleasure when we performed to their standards. It is natural then, that many of us go through great lengths to please others. We are crushed by criticism, continuously compare ourselves to others, and try to outdo each other. Sometimes, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are looking at ourselves as if we were somebody else. We groom and dress ourselves with others in mind.
Shouldn't we just be doing things for our own pleasure and
But wait! (This is you, protesting)
I have to be approved of by my boss, I must be approved of
by my professors, my conduct must be approved of so I can get
paid, so I can pass courses, so I can avoid going to jail.
True. But it follows that if you approve wholeheartedly of yourself, and you make it your business to be the only one who holds an opinion about yourself that really matters, you will be approved of by others in significant ways. Notice that I say significant ways. Whether somebody likes the way to walk, your hairstyle, the car you drive and your shoes,
really are of no consequence in your life.
When you live your life by your own internal guidance, it is enough to know that you are on your way to becoming whatever it is you wish to become.
You donít need to outdo anyone.
Just Outdo Yourself (J.O.Y.)
Your Emotions as Your Steps to Joy
There is nothing wrong with feeling a negative emotion. The problem comes when we stay there so long that an undercurrent of negative emotion becomes our natural state. No matter what the emotion, we can always improve upon it and use those emotions to our advantage.
Our emotions are the path that our inner self uses to communicate with us. It is to our advantage to pay attention to the way we feel, and when we feel sad, hurt, angry or frustrated, we must seek a better feeling. When we feel hurt, it is as if our inner self is telling us : ďThis isnít really who you are. You are supposed to be happy. It is your right.Ē
We cannot move from sadness to elation quickly. But we can move from sadness to elation in incremental steps. When we create the habit of always seeking a better feeling, we will expect to always feel good, and we canít help but feeling good.
Step by step, we can improve on the way we feel until we no longer accept worry, stress, sadness and anxiety as normal states of being for us. Our standards change.
Initially, as we begin this journey, we may feel touchy or ultra-sensitive.
But as we feel develop our comfort with this new way of living
life, but it will all work itself out. Because, after all,
our destination is joy, and it only gets better!